Does he want me to win, like ever?

I was hurt. I knew it was all me. And I could do better. But what's done is done. And it's time to move on, just like old times. But why! Why am I failing back to back. Does he even want me to do good in life, ever? Or am i supposed to rot in mediocrity just because i made one mistake in college- i chose pure friendship over a complicated one tainted by competitiveness. Because obviously, it was after this choice that my life dwindled like in the great depression. And it makes sense as clearly that's the dilemma i keep facing again and again. I only have a little of competitiveness left within. And probably that's really not enough! Am i interpreting it correctly? Or is it just me trying to rationalise my doings? 

And the thought trail went on for a while.... Until it finally hit me....Luck favours the prepared. What does this mean? Only if you prepare well, you will have luck on your side. That's not a great way of interpreting the statement as it in a way urges you to prepare because there will be some kind of fruition. The better way to put it could be...at the time of the interview or the exam, were you prepared enough for the challenges you will be facing AFTER you crack the interview? Are you tough enough already? Will you be able to face and fight it if you are thrown right away into a miserable situation, that you are actually supposed to be handling AFTER you start working in that position or at that school!?? 

That's what God cares about. Why would he put you in a setting wayyy beyond your capacity to handle? Of course he wants you to beat your yesterday and be tougher to the worldly obstacles but the kind of barriers matter too! He knows you just right to serve you with the finest kind of struggles customised for you. These tests or struggles could either test your growth, your loyalty to growth and commitments or these could be level-promoting ones too! You wouldn't know! That's probably the reason they say, never take an opportunity or a situation lightly. Be alert and mindful always. Never let your guard down! 

So yeah if you want to crack a competitive exam or get the best college, prove to him that you are tough enough to get into one. If you could not after all, accept the fact that probably it's not made for you at the moment, but if you may, give another shot, you can try again!

The thing is, Krishna wants nothing but good for you. It's you, who has to prove if you are ready for the next ride. If you are not, he will simply slow you down and take you through another route and orchestrate ways for you to learn similar things that you would be learning if you would have been where you wanted to be, and you will only notice if you are alert and conscious enough to realise that. It's not gonna be a bad route or a loser's route as you may want to call it, but for sure a slower one with its unique set of challenges. If toughness is what you are looking for, better it is to prove through a written exam than to convince other humans to get you into tougher jobs for tougher positions. But if that's your destiny, be it. Working your way out in search of increasing toughness could be hell of a battle too!

Wow. This is for the first time I think I finally found an evidence of my faith in his divinity. <3

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